I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
