i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
