im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
