just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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