Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
