i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
