She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
