just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
