He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
