Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
