I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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