i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need water and some morals
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
