Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize