I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
