my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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