He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
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I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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