Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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