sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
