I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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