after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
