I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
