i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
