we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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