apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
