I could have mohawked her pubes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
