the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
no, he came in my armpit
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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