i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You made out with two different species that night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
