she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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