is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
