did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
