I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize