do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize