She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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