i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
