when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
