you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
