He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
