Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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