Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why do cheetos always look like penises
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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