I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize