My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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