Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
