counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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