it wasn't lemon gatorade
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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