yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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