we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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