Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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