Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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