hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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