Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
