yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
