Whod you bang
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
