...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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