I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
