Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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