So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
