69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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