We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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