your room smells of hookers.
And success
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
