All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
