he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize