you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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