Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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