How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
