Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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