Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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