I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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