i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
