Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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