So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
