I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize