There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
